The brilliant bright-setting sun illuminated the wounded shard of a starfighter sinking lifelessly down through the crisp atmosphere. Nothing could save the burning metal wreckage as it left its fiery mark on the beautiful sky. The fighter smashed through the tranquil clouds, gleaming with flame. The smoke, only slightly subduing the scene, tore through the gaping holes left by its burning leading edge. As the black streaked down through the layers of gold, the sun glimmered glorious radiance through the scattering clouds...
7 comments:
Get rid of that "bright"...please... :P
It's alliteration, V. Get over it. =P
Alliteration is supposed to sound nice. "Brilliant bright" sounds awful. If you're going to use alliteration, don't use synonyms; it's better not to use alliteration at all than to use it to such effect.
Oh come on - say it with a prance and it rolls off nicely.
And they're not entirely synonyms -
bright implies the amount of light, brilliant implies the amount of color and the intensity of said color.
"Brilliant bright" or "bright-brilliant" or anything of the sort implies a color so bright and powerful that it makes your ears tremble.
That's what I'm getting at. =D
It implies nothing of the sort. "Bright-setting" is a meaningless phrase. Even if you meant it to be poetic, it's not pleasant poetry.
As to your explanation of non-synonymity, "bright" can also imply intensity and/or color (trust me, I'm the snobby artiste here). Google a synonym for "brilliant," you will get "bright" with every return, and vice versa. They're synonyms. And putting two close synonyms together in alliteration is lazy, redundant, and atrocious writing. If you want to describe such a powerful, shatteringly intense color, use another literary device--the way you describe it in your comment just now was a dozen times more descriptive/pleasing to the ear/enjoyable to read than that brilliant-bright crap.
End of story.
And by the way, if you think I'm being too harsh, I'm not pursuing this just to prove I'm right. I'm nailing this one because I think it'll make you a better writer. Call it ego on my part, but it's part of my newly assumed role. :P
But it doesn't fit with the style of the vignette. Explaining to the reader on the reader's terms is not my style.
A -little- redundancy is not a crime. Unless you bring in a neutral third party to support your claim, this is just a matter of preference. =P
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